God Puts Long Putter in Bag

THE GROWING POPULARITY OF THE long putter has now spread from country club gates to the pearly gates, as God Almighty announced in a statement that he has added the “broomstick” to his set after a few experimental practice sessions. The creator of the universe has watched with interest as players have won with long putters for three consecutive weeks on the PGA Tour.

Adam Scott was the first, rolling to an impressive win at the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational. PGA Tour rookie Keegan Bradley followed, winning the PGA Championship with a belly putter in his first major appearance. And on Sunday in Greensboro, North Carolina, Webb Simpson claimed his maiden PGA Tour victory using a long putter.

The strong momentum of the long putter among the professional ranks caught the attention of God—who historically is not easy to impress—and was the impetus for the switch.

The Lord admitted that he putted “very well” with a conventional putter but wanted to try the long putter to see what all the fuss was about.

God expected some good-natured barbs from St. Peter, who is part of his regular group, but said with a chuckle, “I can handle Simon Peter. I’ve long known his weaknesses, both on and off the golf course.”

God characterized himself as a recreational golfer, yet declined to reveal how many rounds he has logged this year. Asked how much he plays, God simply said, “More than the Pope and less than President Obama.”

Next up, he added, is one of his favorite golf outings, the annual father-son tournament.

−The Armchair Golfer

Related:
Weary of Golf, God Rains Out Viking Classic

(This is an ARMCHAIR GOLF spoof.)

My Non-Golf Vacation to Charleston

I’VE BEEN OUT OF THE golf loop for the last several days. I did catch the last 15 minutes of the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational on Sunday. I saw Adam Scott sink the birdie on the 72nd hole for an impressive four-shot win and I heard caddie Steve Williams declare that it was the greatest week of his life.

The vent was wide open. Steve Williams and Tiger Woods will not be exchanging Christmas cards.

Meanwhile, I was in Charleston, South Carolina, also known as “The Holy City” for its tall church steeples and sometimes called “Chucktown.” It was family vacation, our last summer fling before the kids saddle up for another school year.

(Photo: Charleston National Golf Club)

We did the historic Charleston market and what we call “fancy lunch,” a white-tablecloth dining experience at Slightly North of Broad, my oldest daughter’s pick, and a good one. We spent a day at Isle of Palms beach and took an evening stroll along the Battery and Charleston Harbor and gawked at the lovely centuries-old homes. We joined a Gray Line city tour from Charleston’s first-rate visitor’s center and ducked in and out of the many shops on King Street.

(Shopping is not my forte, but as the lone male in the family I go along and am a good sport, for the most part.)

It was all excellent, great family fun, even with record heat. It didn’t include any golf for the only golfer in the family, but I didn’t expect any.

I did spy one golf course in our wanderings. The City of Charleston Golf Course, Charleston’s lone muni, is situated on James Island. Maybank Highway bisects the old course. We drove by on the way to Johns Island and I reaffirmed my interest in teeing it up on the 1920s layout where they play the city amateur. It looks like my kind of muni track.

There are a variety of other golf courses in the Charleston area, some of which I’ve listed below. I read about them in the handful of guides and brochures I collected on the trip.

Charleston-Area Golf Courses

Charleston National Golf Club / Semi-Private / Par 72
Coosaw Creek Country Club / Semi-Private / Par 72
Dunes West Golf & River Club / Semi-Private / Par 72
Kiawah Island Golf Resort / Resort Public (90 holes)
(Cougar Point, Oak Point, Ocean Course, Osprey Point, Turtle Point)
Legend Oaks Plantation Golf Club / Semi-Private / Par 72
Patriots Point Links / Public / Par 72
Pine Forest Country Club / Semi-Private / Par 72
Rivertowne Country Club / Semi-Private / Par 72
Shadowmoss Plantation Golf Club / Semi-Private / Par 72
The Links at Stono Ferry / Semi-Private / Par 72
Seabrook Island Restort / Stay & Play (36 holes)
(Crooked Oaks, Ocean Winds)
Golf Club at Westcott Plantation / Public (27 holes)
Wild Dunes Resort / Resort Public (36 holes)
(Harbor Course, Links Course)
Berkeley Country Club / Semi-Private / Par 72
City of Charleston Golf Course / Municipal / Par 72
Crowfield Golf & Country Club / Semi-Private / Par 72
Plantation Course At Edisto / Public / Par 70
Miller Country Club / Semi-Private / Par 71

And to the not-so-distant north and south lie Myrtle Beach and Hilton Head. There’s plenty of golf in the South Carolina coastal area. Where have you played? Any recommendations?

−The Armchair Golfer

(Photo credit: butler.corey, Flickr, Creative Commons license)

The Rory McIlroy Guessing Game

Editor’s note: Brian Keogh is a golf correspondent for The Irish Sun and a contributor to The Irish Times, Golf Digest Ireland and other golf publications. The following excerpt from Brian’s Irish Golf Desk is used with permission.

By Brian Keogh
Special to ARMCHAIR GOLF

THERE’S A NEW GUESSING GAME in golf—what’s Rory McIlroy going to do next. In June he surprised nearly everyone when he followed his implosion at the Masters with an eight-shot US Open win. Fast forward six weeks and he’s overshadowed the return to Tiger Woods to PGA Tour action this week by announcing that he’s seriously considering rejoining the PGA Tour next season.

Nearly nine months ago, McIlroy gave up his card and said:

“I found myself in America last year, especially in the FedEx Cup play-off series, just not wanting to be there…. If you’re not playing well in the States it can be a lonely place. But if you’re not playing well on the European Tour you still have plenty of mates to hang out with. Holly also has another two years at university and we have two dogs, a nice house and I love my life back in Ireland. I don’t ever want to give that up.”

Fast forward to the eve of the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational in Akron and the story is very different. Holly is history, he’s playing well and life in Ireland has become more of grind since his went from golf star to public megastar in the space of a few weeks.

“I spoke to a couple of the guys from the PGA Tour today about it, and I’m leaning towards taking my card up again definitely,” said McIlroy, who is involved a burgeoning romance with the Danish world tennis number one Caroline Wozniacki.

“I feel as if I play my best golf over here. I’m very comfortable in this country. I’m going to look at a few houses down in Florida after the (US) PGA.

“I might go and stay with G-Mac (Graeme McDowell) for a night at Lake Nona and see what that’s like and then down in West Palm Beach and Jupiter, around there. I’m definitely looking towards coming back and playing a full schedule over here.”

McIlroy fired a 68 in the first round of the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational and trails leader Adam Scott by six shots. Scott blistered Firestone Country Club with an eight-birdie, no-bogey 62.

Brian Keogh covers golf for The Irish Sun and contributes to a variety of golf publications. Pay him a visit at Irish Golf Desk.

Who Are Those Guys? Scott Stallings Edition

Editor’s note: In “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,” Butch (Paul Newman) and Sundance (Robert Redford) kept saying, “Who are those guys?” That line reminds me of the PGA Tour some weeks, including this last one.

ON SUNDAY I WAS FLIPPING from the U.S. Senior Open to the Greenbrier Classic. I hoped Olin Browne would hang on to win his first major. I also was curious to see who would kiss the trophy at The Greenbrier at Old White.

As it turned out, it wasn’t Anthony Kim or Webb Simpson or Bill Haas. The Greenbrier Classic winner in a sudden-death playoff was PGA Tour rookie Scott Stallings, the sixth rookie to win on the circuit during the 2011 season.

So this bears repeating: Who are those guys? Or, rather, who is this guy? More on that in a moment.

Playing with AK, the 54-hole leader, Stallings knocked his drive out of bounds on the 71st hole and made a bogey that could have put an end to his hopes. But the 26-year-old rookie sank a dramatic birdie on the par-3 finishing hole to crash the playoff with veteran Bob Estes and Haas.

Then, like a relief pitcher running in from the bullpen in the late innings of a tight ball game, the excited Stallings sprinted into the playoff after signing his scorecard. Yes, he actually ran. Crazy fun stuff.

“Running from the back of the green to the tee to go to the playoff is something I’ll never forget,” said Stallings. “I’ve been working with a trainer for about a month, so he should be proud.”

The pumped-up rookie lofted another beautiful short iron on the 168-yard par 3 and the ball landed in nearly the same spot as before. After Haas and Estes missed their longer birdie putts, Stallings sank the seven-footer for his first PGA Tour win and high-fived and bear-hugged his caddie.

If you’re in the dark on Stallings like I am, here’s the sheet on him.

Stallings was an all-state high-school golfer who went to Tennessee Tech, where he won seven tournaments and was an All-American in 2006. He played the mini tours and missed making it through PGA Tour Qualifying School by a single shot in 2009. After finishing 53rd on the Nationwide Tour money list in 2010, Stallings went back to Q School last fall and walked away with his PGA Tour card after a T11 finish.

The rookie missed his first five cuts this season. A breakthrough came at the Transitions Championship, where Stallings finished third after Kenny Perry helped him get into the event with a sponsor exemption. (Perry and Stallings have the same agent.)

Now, with his first tour win, Stallings is in Akron this week for the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational and in Atlanta next week for the PGA Championship. He has gone from 562nd to 119th in the Official World Golf Ranking and from 88th to 26th in the FedEx Cup standings. That’s quite a sprint.

−The Armchair Golfer

More ‘Who Are Those Guys?’:
Keegan Bradley
Gary Woodland

‘Lost,’ Starring Tiger Woods

After all, this was more than just Pavarotti missing the high “C.” It was Houdini locking himself out of his own house. It was Michelangelo falling off the scaffold. It was Shakespeare splitting all his infinitives.
−Global Golf Post, on Tiger Woods’s debacle at the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational

TV’S “LOST” ISN’T OVER. It’s just shifted from a tropical island to a championship golf course, from an adventure-drama-fantasy to a grim reality show, from a cast of many to a cast of one—Tiger Woods.

“Lost,” the one-word headline I saw on this morning’s Global Golf Post, is the perfect adjective for Tiger Woods. “Unable to find one’s way” is one definition. It fits Eldrick at the moment, certainly on the golf course. Tiger can’t find a fairway, a green, or even his masterful putting stroke. First Tiger lost control of himself; now he’s lost control of his golf game. He’s stranded on an island of his own creation with no rescue in sight. It’s stunning. And it isn’t.

“Tiger seems lost with no way out” was the headline of an opinion piece penned by Tim Dahlberg of The Associated Press. “Woods is lost,” wrote CBSsports.com’s Steve Elling. “His game is in tatters. His personal life is even worse. There is no refuge for the guy at the moment.” “Has Tiger Woods lost his mojo for good?” asked FoxNews.com. Former swing coach Butch Harmon also used the “L” word.

“I think people have figured out he’s just a human being,” Hunter Mahan, the player who rallied on Sunday to win the Bridgestone, said in January. Mahan also mentioned that “No one is scared of him [Tiger]” since Mr. Kryptonite, Y.E. Yang, killed off golf’s Superman at the 2009 PGA Championship.

You and I might be shocked by Tiger’s 298 at Firestone, but Tiger wasn’t. “No, it doesn’t surprise me at all actually.”

Only Swede Henrik Stenson spared Tiger the ultimate indignity of finishing dead last in a prestigious WGC event Tiger had won seven of nine times.

Lost. The most damaging four-letter word of all for Tiger Woods.

−The Armchair Golfer

(Image: Keith Allison/Flickr)

Catching Up on ‘The Stones’

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, all. A quick update on “The Stones”:

Bridgestone
Phil Mickelson is going for No. 1. Lee Westwood is going home. Tiger Woods is going everywhere except in the fairway. South African Retief Goosen leads the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational after two rounds at 7-under par. Mickelson and Justin Leonard are one shot back. A win by Phil will knock Woods off his No. 1 pedestal in the Official World Golf Ranking. Lefty has long been Avis but never Hertz. Westwood withdrew and will miss next week’s PGA Championship because of a torn calf muscle. Anthony Kim is struggling in his first tournament back after a three-month layoff due to an injured left thumb.

Firestone
In person, and on television, Firestone Country Club looks stunning.

Turning Stone
After rounds of 66 and 68, Alex Cejka is the 36-hole leader at the Turning Stone Resort Championship in Verona, New York. Rory Sabbatini and Chris Tidland are lurking, just one back.

The Rolling Stones
Mick Jagger recently turned 67.

The Flintstones
Fred, Wilma, Barney and Betty are still going strong on TV Land. Nothing says fun quite like “Yabba-Dabba-Doo!” Fred’s famous catchphrase was derived from the ad jingle for Brylcreem (“A Little Dab’ll Do Ya!”).

−The Armchair Golfer

(Image: stonehousegolf.com/Flickr)